Opinionated news exctraction for all by that geeky accountant type guy...

Saturday, February 26

Official! World's funniest joke

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

I wouldnt say it was the funniest

Friday, February 25

Soft Finance

Be honest, when did you ever think of finance as a 'people business'? The phrase sits badly with the idea of finance as a disciplined, emotionless function. There is something touchy-feely about it; something soft, weak and woolly-minded.

The reality, of course, is that finance became a people business some years ago, when chief financial officers decided they wanted to play on the chief executive's strategy team. Once you start mixing numbers with more subjective values - such as vision, creativity and intuition - you bring into play a whole range of human qualities not normally associated with the finance function.

CFO

Thursday, February 24

Fun Fact of the Day

Otters are lactose intolerant.


This friendly community (propaganda) is brought to you by D-news (given a chance to rule the world I would...).

Wednesday, February 23

Brilliant Button Maker

The ease of use might even bring about a D-news Button of some kind...

WW ver 1.0: Now in Colour

Its actually war pictures that are in colour. Not the internet...

Breast Examination Reveals Personality

An Italian sex researcher claims he can tell a woman's personality from the size and shape of her breasts. According to German newspaper Bild sexologist Piero Lorenzoni said: "A woman's breasts denote a woman's character, just like her star sign."

"looks like you're a cancerous bitch."

Have you recently killed someone?

Then why not blame it on a computer game. Everyones doing it. Join in. Its multi player. Two player mode is best... Just make sure you have the good controler.

One Dimensional Tetris

This is a flash version of Tetris, but its one dimensional, which makes it easy to rack up a huge score. But dont worry about throwing away the old gameboy as you will still want to play it after touching this.

Because its on the Internet

[Note: you may feel dirty after playing this]

Monday, February 21

Connex Bus Strike

Turns out there is a strike on for the connex buses. Which means I have to catch the train, which takes longer, as I have to drive to the train station. And it takes an entire hour as apposed to 45 mins from Capalaba... When will the maddness end

[Note: Maddness is expected to end by the afternoon as there is supposed "meeting" at 11:00am]

Thursday, February 17

Make your own PVR

You know its better then VHS or that DVD thingy. They are all just fads. PVR is the only way to fly.

SIRC Guide to flirting

Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction. Anthropological research shows that flirting is to be found, in some form, in all cultures and societies around the world.

Flirting is a basic instinct, part of human nature. This is not surprising: if we did not initiate contact and express interest in members of the opposite sex, we would not progress to reproduction, and the human species would become extinct.

According to some evolutionary psychologists, flirting may even be the foundation of civilisation as we know it. They argue that the large human brain - our superior intelligence, complex language, everything that distinguishes us from animals - is the equivalent of the peacock's tail: a courtship device evolved to attract and retain sexual partners. Our achievements in everything from art to rocket science may be merely a side-effect of the essential ability to charm.

Its scientific...

Sex is for Fags

The Sex is for Fags! Abstinence-Only Education Program is produced by the US Dept. of Health & Human Services and the White House Office of Youth Purity.

Take the pledge and join us.....

US robot troops to go into battle

The Pentagon is spending $161 billion on a program to build heavily-armed robots for the battlefield in the hope that future wars will be fought without the loss of its soldiers' lives.

The scheme, known as Future Combat Systems, is the largest military contract in American history and will help to drive the defence budget up by almost 20 per cent in five years' time.

Much of the cash will be spent computerising the military, but the ultimate aim is to take members of the armed forces out of harm's way. They would be replaced by robots capable of hunting and killing America's enemies.

That human involvement has proved critical in convincing military lawyers that machines can be used on the battlefield. More advanced machines which can decide whether to kill would also be legal, says Mr Johnson.

"The lawyers tell me there are no prohibitions against robots making life-or-death decisions," he said.

Since there are no laws what does it matter...

TV-Swarm Pulls the Plug

P2PForums.com is reporting that a popular TV Torrent site, TV-Swarm, has voluntarily taken itself off line. The site has become a favorite of many in the TV Torrent community, as the site offered a wide variety of show titles from around the world. Those unable to watch a particular show due to geographical location found the site particularly useful.

However, this is a dangerous time for the BitTorrent community. The loss of LokiTorrent was an immeasurable loss - even if you never used the site. The loss of LokiTorrent not only damaged the availability of Torrent files, but the reputation of Torrent websites and operators.

For Now

Franchesca Wills

More pictures form inside sport.

[Its out now]

Woman Sets Dog On Fire, Accidentally Kills Kids

Investigators in Pittsburgh say they have solved a nearly 15-year-old case in which a woman and her friend allegedly set the family dog on fire because the woman's mother wouldn't get rid of it.

The dog, in turn, wound up setting the house on fire, killing the woman's two toddlers.

Cold-case detectives haven't said exactly what broke the case against the mother, 34-year-old Tequilla Newsome, and her friend, 29-year-old Lachan Russell. Russell was 15 at the time.

Cmdr. Maurita Bryant said the detectives reinterviewed about 20 witnesses in the case and at least one offered more details in recent weeks, after becoming older, wiser and more religious.

The fire, around 2:30 in the morning of July 11, 1990, killed 2-year-old Montelle Thornhill and 3-year-old Charita Thornhill.

Montelle was allergic to the dog, but his grandmother -- with whom the family lived -- refused to get rid of it, police said.

Whooops

Tuesday, February 15

Sandwich Project

A Project to document all of the sandwiches in the world.

Its like the ISDB (Internet Sandwich Data Base).

I'm bookmarking this one.

Gandam Vibrators

Gandam (the toys) have been converted into vibrators, for those who like that sort of thing

Viagra, thongs donated as tsumani aid

Tsunami aid is a problem

Must Stretch

I know I should strech but I dont.

1. HAMSTRINGS
Lie on your back, with one knee bent. Bring your other leg up to vertical, keeping your knee straight and back against the floor. (This is a much better stretch for your hamstrings than exercises where you bend at the waist from a standing position.)

2. QUADS
Keeping your quads limber can help take stress off of the small muscles that support your knees. Stand erect, grab one leg and—keeping your pelvis forward and stomach tight—pull your foot towards your rear end. Do this for both legs.

Another option: Sit on your feet, and—while keeping your knees on the ground—lean your upper torso backwards until you feel the stretch.

3. ILLIOTIBIAL BAND (I.T. Band)
Stand erect with your feet shoulder width apart. Take your left leg and put it behind your right leg and put your left foot about 12" to the right of your right foot. Bending at the waist, run your right hand down your right leg until you feel the stretch. Return to an upright position and repeat with the other leg.

4. GLUTEUS MAXIMUS
Sit on the ground with your legs straight out in front of you. Bend your left leg and place your left foot on the outside of your right leg (positioned between your right knee and right rear end cheek.) Pull your left foot as close to that right cheek as possible. Then, use your arm to gently pull your left knee towards your chest. If you don't feel a stretch, grab your left shin and twist your leg a little to pull your shin closer to your chest.

As an alternative: Lie on your back and place both feet in the air. Bend your left leg, and cross it so your left shin is in front of your right quad. Pull your right leg towards your chest. If you don't feel a stretch in your buttocks, push your left knee away from you while maintaining the distance between your right leg and your chest.

5. ANKLES
Stretching and strengthening your muscles and tendons will help keep your foot stable as you run. Begin by standing with your feet in normal standing position. Place one hand on a wall or a railing for a little balance. Now, 'roll' your feet around on their 'outer edges.' In other words, tilt your feet as far outward and inward as they will go, rocking forward on the balls of your feet and back on your heels. Repeat 50 times.

Now, check out Coach Marc's favorite upper body stretches. Why bother, when you're primarily using your legs? Think about the way you engage your arms and back as you run. Take out some of that tension with these simple exercises:

1. TRICEPS
Raise your left arm above your head. Drop your arm at the elbow and place your left hand behind your head, palm facing your back. Slide your hand down your spine until you feel a stretch. Deepen the stretch by grabbing your bent left elbow with your right hand and pulling it over and down (toward your right hip.)

2. LATS
Sit on your feet, with your arms outstretched in front of you. Place your left hand on top of your right hand. Lean back and twist your body towards your right side, trying to put your right armpit on the ground. If this doesn't feel like a stretch, move your hands further out in front of you.

3. CHEST
Place the front of your arm on a wall, from palm to elbow, such that your hand is shoulder height or higher. Keeping both your palm and elbow touching the wall, turn your body away from the wall until you feel a stretch in your chest.

4. UPPER BACK
Take your left elbow in your right hand and pull it across the front of your chest. Keeping your shoulders level, gently pull your left elbow to the right, over to your right pectoral (chest) muscle. You might find it easier to place your forearm under your right armpit.

Monday, February 14

History of Postcards

Its called Delitology.

Saturday, February 12

NewsMap

The google news agregator gets the visual overhaul. It reminds me of the visual thesaurus for some reason.

"Newsmap is an application that visually reflects the constantly changing landscape of the Google News news aggregator. A treemap visualization algorithm helps display the enormous amount of information gathered by the aggregator. Treemaps are traditionally space-constrained visualizations of information. Newsmap's objective takes that goal a step further and provides a tool to divide information into quickly recognizable bands which, when presented together, reveal underlying patterns in news reporting across cultures and within news segments in constant change around the globe.

Newsmap does not pretend to replace the googlenews aggregator. It's objective is to simply demonstrate visually the relationships between data and the unseen patterns in news media. It is not thought to display an unbiased view of the news, on the contrary it is thought to ironically accentuate the bias of it. "

Friday, February 11

Darth Vader Ice Sculpture

Another reason why Japan is cool...

More here

Lokitorrent closed

Lokitorrent gets closed down Hopefully bit torrent wont me made to look bad, becuase it really is awsome technology. Like for getting blue vs red.

iPodify your Photos

Turn your crap photos into consumerist bling.

Dr. Phill Quote Generator

"You don't need a wing and a prayer to run a sweatshop."

Death Star Spotted near Saturn

Oh no! A trade embargo... Wait that can only help our current account deficit. Whooo. Fuck the Rebel Aliance.

However the imperial system is also kinda crappy. Hmmmmm... I think I will throw away my vote and go for a third "balance of power" type party...

Night-vision camera turns night into day

No its not a day torch...

Rather some fancy electronics from the Netherlands. Check out the pictures its quite amazing.

Thursday, February 10

DNS for Dummies

This small comic shows how DNS works.

TMBG37 GOES TO THE MARKET- AN EDUCATIONAL COMIC

[Note: its made in MS paint]

Wednesday, February 9

The Sinister Ducks

Ducks Ducks Ducks, essentialy a song about ducks. Now thanks to the internet it is provided to us in a more entertaining manner. Flash.

[Note: the song is called The March of the Sinister ducks and is performed by the beared Alan Moore of the "Watchmen" variety and his crew of equally comicy friends...]

Ducks

Are they so sweet?

"Sinister Ducks seem to be big this month. For those not in the know, The March of the Sinister Ducks was a single released by Translucia Baboon (also known as Alan Moore) and member(s?) of Bauhaus. I have a page on my website that shows the lyrics to said song and quite a lot of people have been ending up there from various search engines in the last few days...

This would be the Northampton magician behind such seminal works as (roughly in chronological order) V for Vendetta, Marve* sorry, Miracleman, Skizz, Swamp Thing, the Ballad of Halo Jones, Watchmen, From Hell and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (and series two) (I think I got them in order)."

Got iPod Need Cock

Do you have an iPod but need penis as well? Or you you like to think your playing with your self (or someone else...) when touching your iPod?

Well now the internet can help. By way of a simple hack for the iPod you can now feed your penis envy to the tune of your favourite song. And who could ever forget the classic "I've got cock in my ear" by Johnny Apple Seed and The Sour Grapes.

"Screwing Around With iPod"

The Secret Post

This is cool in so many ways. Firstly you got the postcard thing, and the secret thing and the public displaying of these secrets and ofcourse the internety thing.

My secret is never tell anyone...

"Now you are invited to share a secret. You can help the collection grow to included a secret from every state and other countries. To participate, just express your thoughtful secret on a 6-inch by 4-inch card and mail it to:

PostSecret
13345 Copper Ridge Road
Germantown, MD 20874

Questions or Comments? Send email to: PostSecret@docdel.com"

Post you secret.

Ant Experiment

Its a blog about an Ant Farm.

ATO backs away from independence

The Australian Tax Office (ATO) has confirmed that professional independence is not part of their regulatory framework and that they will no longer make a statement on this as part of their audits of self managed superannuation funds (SMSF).

Instead, regulation of auditors’ independence will be the responsibility of professional accounting bodies through their professional standard FI Audit Independence.

In a statement to the Institute of Chartered Accountants this week, the ATO clarified its position on independence by highlighting that “any audits of SMSF undertaken for the purpose of the SIS [Superannuation Industry Supervision] Act must be conducted in accordance with the recognised professional association’s auditing standards. The Tax Office does not enforce or define these standards. As such, definitions of independence for auditing purposes are the responsibility of the associations.”

The Institute of Chartered Accountants commends the ATO’s decision, saying it recognises the rigour of the professional standard F1.

“Our professional standard on independence reflects world’s best practice, with clear guidelines on how to identify, assess and manage risks to professional independence, specifically in the provision of assurance services. Further, where safeguards cannot be implemented, the member is obliged to reject or cease the engagement,” said Institute of Chartered Accountants CEO, Stephen Harrison.

“The ATO’s announcement to refrain from investigating breaches of audit independence is a testament to this.”

Chartered Accountants’ adherence to professional independence will continue to be scrutinised by the ICAA’s comprehensive Quality Review program of members’ practices.

The announcement is a big win for the accounting profession and is the result of a number of years of lobbying the ATO and government. However, the ATO has indicated that independence will remain a primary risk factor when identifying public practice firms for review.

“Where the auditor and the tax agent are listed in the same firm, the firm runs a considerably higher risk of facing an audit by the ATO. This is a costly and inconvenient exercise, but one that can be avoided by making sure your practice complies with F1,” said Mr Harrison.

ICAA

ATO Compliance Model

The Compliance Model is a structured way of helping us to understand the factors that influence different compliance behaviour. This enables us to choose the most appropriate intervention for the circumstances.

Taxation compliance behaviour is influenced by many factors – business, industry, sociological, economic and psychological – all of which influence whether a person chooses to meet their obligations. The model shows a continuum of taxpayer attitudes towards compliance. At the base of the continuum, taxpayers have the desired attitude of being ‘willing to do the right thing’. At the other extreme, taxpayers have decided not to comply – choosing to evade or opt out of the tax system.

The model also summarises the different sorts of support and intervention that we may need to provide to collect the required revenue. The model suggests that the Tax Office has the ability to influence taxpayer behaviour through our response and interaction.


ATO

Tuesday, February 8

4 Gigiapixel Camera

Physicist Graham Flint is working on an ultra-high-resolution portrait of America -- a series of gigantic, gigapixel images taken with a custom camera made from bits and pieces of decommissioned Cold War hardware.

Armed with a self-designed camera he crafted from parts of spy planes and nuclear reactors, Flint is crisscrossing America, taking thousands of pictures of cities, monuments and national parks.

Weighing more than 100 pounds, Flint's camera captures images at 4 gigapixels -- a resolution high enough to photograph four football fields and capture every single blade of grass. When printed at maximum resolution, the images are as big as billboards, but render the finest detail.

Wired

Damn Perverts

Australia is CRAP

Australia is crap. The Website.

[Note: maybe he's right]

Monday, February 7

Brisbane Cab Pictures

Pictures form taxis are becoming popular. Heres a link to a Brisbane one

And Now for Something Completely Different

TONIGHT, TONIGHT, TONIGHT!

Tuesday Late Night Movie
Comedy (1971) UK
An anthology of Monty Python's best sketches from the first two seasons of their original TV show.

John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, Terry Gilliam

PG
100 mins

News Paper Articles

From a real newspaper.

[Pictures not scans]

Sunday, February 6

Daft Punk: new Album

Human After All

Saturday, February 5

RIAA: Bring out your dead

An 84 year old dead women is being sued by RIAA for providing 700 music files to the internet.

Friday, February 4

Xbox Millennium Falcon

Millennium Falcon now comes with a free X box and 100,000 light year warranty.

[Note: Warranty only applies to chassi]

Thursday, February 3

Can Governor Schwarzenegger Repeal the Laws of Thermodynamics?

Theres no such thing as a free lunch....

Always On

Googledorks

We call them 'googledorks' (gOO gôl'Dôrk, noun, slang) : An inept or foolish person as revealed by Google. Whatever you call these fools, you've found the center of the Google Hacking Universe! Stop by our forums to see where the magic happens!

The Google Hacking Data Base (GHDB).

Wednesday, February 2

The perils of porn

Porns a drug now?... hehe... Wouldnt it be funny if there was a war on porn...

Half of Bankruptcy Due to Medical Bills

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Half of all U.S. bankruptcies are caused by soaring medical bills and most people sent into debt by illness are middle-class workers with health insurance, researchers said on Wednesday.

The study, published in the journal Health Affairs, estimated that medical bankruptcies affect about 2 million Americans every year, if both debtors and their dependents, including about 700,000 children, are counted.

"Our study is frightening. Unless you're Bill Gates you're just one serious illness away from bankruptcy," said Dr. David Himmelstein, an associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School who led the study.

"Most of the medically bankrupt were average Americans who happened to get sick. Health insurance offered little protection."

The researchers got the permission of bankruptcy judges in California, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Tennessee and Texas to survey 931 people who filed for bankruptcy.

"About half cited medical causes, which indicates that 1.9 to 2.2 million Americans (filers plus dependents) experienced medical bankruptcy," they wrote.

"Among those whose illnesses led to bankruptcy, out-of-pocket costs averaged $11,854 since the start of illness; 75.7 percent had insurance at the onset of illness."

The average bankrupt person surveyed had spent $13,460 on co-payments, deductibles and uncovered services if they had private insurance. People with no insurance spent an average of $10,893 for such out-of-pocket expenses.

"Even middle-class insured families often fall prey to financial catastrophe when sick," the researchers wrote.

Bankruptcy specialists said the numbers seemed sound.

"From 1982 to 1989, I reviewed every bankruptcy petition filed in South Carolina, and during that period I came to the conclusion that there were two major causes of bankruptcy: medical bills and divorce," said George Cauthen, a lawyer at Columbia-based law firm Nelson Mullins Riley & Scarborough LLP.

"Each accounted, roughly, for about a third of all individual filings in South Carolina."

He said fewer than 1 percent of all bankruptcy filings were due to credit card debt. "That truly is a myth," Cauthen said in a telephone interview.

Cauthen said he was not surprised to hear that so many of the bankrupt people in the study were middle-class.

"Usually people who have something to protect file bankruptcy," he said. "The truly indigent — people that we see on the street — there is no relief that we can give them."

Dr. Steffie Woolhandler, a Harvard associate professor and physician who advocates for universal health coverage, said the study supported demands for health reform.

"Covering the uninsured isn't enough. We must also upgrade and guarantee continuous coverage for those who have insurance," Woolhandler said in a statement.

She said many employers and politicians were pressing for what she called "stripped-down plans so riddled with co-payments, deductibles and exclusions that serious illness leads straight to bankruptcy."

The reason we need to protect our public health system.

D-News Type thing. But Automated

Dont go here.

SuperPope

Its a Cartoon

With a Blog.

Disney Stole my Dream

A not so local man living in Weshland claims Disney stole his recurrent dream which he wrote down so he could complain to his physcologist later... "Disney then made Pirates of the Caribean. I feel like my mind has been invaded. How do they do that?"

Doesnt Disney own the patent for making movies?

New Furby Ready

The new features that Hasbro hope will make it sell include:

Love Handles
Vibrating Effect
Space Bar Cleaner

Its Fury.

Eiffel Tower Copyrighted

It's now illegal to publish photographs of the Eiffel Tower at night without permission. From DMD's Fast Company blog post:

"The Eiffel Tower's likeness had long since been part of the public domain, when in 2003, it was abruptly repossessed by the city of Paris. That's the year that the SNTE, the company charged with maintaining the tower, adorned it with a distinctive lighting display, copyrighted the design, and in one feel swoop, reclaimed the nighttime image and likeness of the most popular monument on earth. In short: they changed the actual likeness of the tower, and then copyrighted that."

Bah!

[Boing Boing]

Play Every NES and Sega game ever made

In Java.

[This is the one time where a warning on it not being safe for work is needed. NSFW]

Book. Should Read. Must Fill Quota

Not Sure. Why.

"Mastering the Dynamics of Innovation: How Companies Can Seize Opportunities in the Face of Technological Change"

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